Zim's Most Evil Plan Ever!
by DerpyFanFicz
Summary: I failed. Zim was actually doing it. He was actually taking over the Earth. I was trapped, and Zim was doing…whatever he was doing! All Humans would be destroyed - unless he would enslave them all! His planet's mission would succeed! The entire universe will belong to Irk sooner or later! They're one planet closer.


"Where do you think you're going, son?"

I stood there.

"Off to save the world?"

"Yeah…"

"Be back by dinner…. My poor, insane son."

I left the house and ran down the street. I'm Dib, by the way. My dad's a scientist, Professor Membrane. If I run, I can get to Zim's house in about five minutes. Zim's a new kid in my class. He's been here for about six months. But he's not a kid. He's an alien.

You probably think I'm insane. I know he's an alien. He's green, and has no ears or a nose. He says it's a skin condition, but I don't buy it. All the other kids in my class believe him. I've seen him out of his stupid disguise. He has red eyes, and two antennae on the top of his head. He's Irken. He plans to take over Earth - and he's tried, but I've stopped him. My sister and I are the only ones who know he's an alien. My sister's name is Gaz. She doesn't care that Zim's an alien. No one else believes me, but I save the world anyways.

I finally arrived at Zim's house. It's in the middle of two normal houses, and there are cords and wires and claws attached to the side of each house that steal power or something. But does anyone notice? Nope. They just call _me_ insane. He has garden gnomes in his yard. They're not ordinary garden gnomes. They shoot lasers at you if you come too close the house.

Fine, call me crazy. I know I'm right. You'll be thanking me later when I stop Zim from his latest scheme. What is his latest scheme? … I don't exactly know yet, but I know he's up to something. He hasn't been in Skool for a week.

I know how to get past the security. I've done it dozens of times. But every time I get caught, Zim updates his security. I go to the house next door, sneak in their backyard, and carefully go into Zim's backyard. Then I get a rope with a loop in it, and hook it onto Zim's satellite dish, climb onto the roof, and go to the doorstep. I'm safe here.

I search into my bag. Did I bring my lock picking set? Yeah. I carefully pick the lock, which is a lot easier after a practice it a home fifty times. The door opens. All quiet. Too quiet. I carefully sneak in. On the first step, the floor squeaks. I flinch. No Zim. Keep going. I keep my breathing very quiet. Then, I hear something. Footsteps. I look for coverage, so I hide behind the couch.

I keep my eyes out for Zim. The footsteps become louder. Then I saw someone approaching from the kitchen.

"DOO-DEE-DOO-DEE! I'M A MONKEY!"

Just GIR. GIR is Zim's robot. After some research, I found out that GIR is supposed to be a SIR unit, which is s device that Irken Invaders get when conquering a planet. But something's wrong with that one. I discovered not too long ago when I was spying on Zim that SIR stands for Standard Information Retreival. GIR must be a broken one. I don't know why Zim doesn't fix it. GIR works, but it's really stupid. No threat. Or so I thought.

"HAI DIIIIB! YOU WANNA BE A MONKEY?!" he shouted.

Uh oh. Then I hear another voice. A faded, echoed voice.

"GIR! DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? GET DOWN HERE!" The voice said.

Zim.

Gir went left the room and I got out from behind the couch. I grabbed my camera. I took pictures of everything that looked suspicious. Like GIR going down the toilet in the kitchen. I looked on the toilet. That must be where Zim's base was. I **really** didn't want to go down there, but Zim was down there. He was plotting something. So I climbed in the toilet, and flushed.

I found myself in a glass tube, like an elevator. I saw Zim, out of his disguise, facing away from me. I hoped the elevator wasn't too loud. When it opened, he still faced away. He was typing something on a really big computer. I couldn't understand the writing. It must've been the Irken language. I took my camera, and took pictures of Zim and the computer. Zim was about fifty feet away, so I had to zoom in. _Click! Click! Click!_ Then, I saw Zim's antennae perk up. I looked around, and hid behind a big machine. I had no clue what it was, but I knew it was something bad.

"GIR, did you hear that?" Zim said.

"Hear what?" GIR replied.

"I could of sworn I heard clicking."

Oh no.

"All I heard was the PIGGIES!" GIR shouted. If anyone's crazy, it's GIR.

"Huh. I must just be getting paranoid." Zim replied. He continued typing.

He better be paranoid. After I defeat him and ruin his evil plan, whatever it is, I'll show these pictures to the FBI!

"What 'ya doooin'?" GIR asked Zim.

Finally! I can hear Zim's evil plan!

"Well, GIR, step one will be to-" Zim stopped. "Computer! Scan the base for _HUMANS!"_

Uh…oh… Keep calm, Dib. Just…don't…make…a…sound.

I saw a green light scan the area. It went over Zim and GIR, the over the entire floor…then over me and the machine. I held my breath. Then, the light stopped and went away. I waited a few moments. Zim said nothing... I was safe.

Or so I thought.

A siren went off. Red lights started flashing. _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

"HUMAN LIFE DETECTED. HUMAN LIFE DETECTED. HUMAN LIFE DETECTED." the computer said. I looked up at the ceiling. It was covered in wires. Then I saw a metal claw from the ceiling of wires come after me. I started to run to the elevator. It was too late. It grabed onto me and pulled me toward Zim. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the hippo headed Human: _Dib!" _He said.

Good alliteration. I guess.

"My head's not big!" I said. "What's your plan, _Zim?_ Huh? HUH?!" I tried to wiggle free. The claw still grasped onto me.

"Plan? Oh yes! MY PLAN! I'LL NEVER TELL YOU, YOU LITTLE HAIRLESS MONKEY! But, you _do_ get to sit and watch! COMPUTER! Put The Dib-worm in a containment cell." He replied. I got moved to a large, metal, see-through cylinder. I banged on it with all my might, but all I succeeded in was hurting my fist.

"You'll never win this, ZIM!" I shouted.

"Oh, but I _will!_ You may as well give up, child!" Zim replied. "Just give up and watch with your ginormatic head filled with smelly germs!"

…..

"Okay…that…made _no_ sense whatsoever…" I told him.

"….DO NOT QUESTION ZIM'S LOGIC!" He returned to his desk and turned to GIR. "GIR! I give you the honors! Press the nig red button!" He told GIR.

"YAAAY!" GIR said. But he pushed the _blue_ button instead… Then, I saw the top of my cell begin to slowly open…

"NO GIR! NOT THAT ONE!" Zim shouted. He pushed the blue button again, and my cell closed slowly, right before it was big enough for me to squeeze out. Dang it.

"GIR, push the _RED_ button!" Zim said.

"MONKIEZZZZ!" GIR shouted. By then, he pushed the green button. I saw the base of the roof begin to open, revealing Zim's ship.

Wow, that GIR is an idiot.

"NO GIR! THE RED BUTTON!" Zim shouted. He pushed the green one again, closing the rooftop. "_That one_, GIR!" Zimm pointed to the red button. But GIR pushed the orange button. At first I didn't know what that was, but I saw Zim's Robo-parents come out.

"COME ONE SON! LET'S GO PLAY IN THE TOILET!" the Dad said.

"I MADE MUFFINS!" The Mom said. She threw rocks at Zim. I couldn't help smirking.

"NO GIR!" Zim shouted. He pressed the orange button again, and the Robo-parents shut down. He pushed them back into the the room they came from. "How hard is it, GIR?! I'll push the stupid button myself!" He said. He pushed the red button.

"NNNOOOO!" I shouted!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zim laughed.

I failed. Zim was actually doing it. He was actually taking over the Earth. I was trapped, and Zim was doing…whatever he was doing! All Humans would be destroyed-unless he would enslave them all! His planet's mission would succeed! The entire universe will belong to Irk sooner or later! They're one planet closer. I slowly sat down, and looked at Zim. He was still doing his evil laugh. I can't believe Zim will-

Wait. I looked up. There was a very large containment cell, about ten times bigger than mine…and I saw it being filled…..with…

Snacks?! A giant tube connected to the cell and it was being filled with…SNACKS?! I rubbed by eyes to make sure I was seeing things correctly. I saw it being filled with candy bars, chips, soda cans, and other snacks. But they were Earth snacks! How is he going to take over the Earth with _snacks?!_

"WAIT! Zim? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING OVER EARTH!" I shouted. Zim turned around and looked at me.

"Oh, uh…yeah. Zim's not taking over Earth right _now!_ I'm just stealing all ov their snacks from the vending machines. Evil, huh?" He replied. I saw the cell was almost getting full.

"How are you going to fill all of Earth;s snacks in that container?! I mean, yeah, it's big, but not big enough to fit all the snacks on Earth!"

"Oh, I have about a hundered more of those in the other room, you foolish pig-worm!"

"But, these are Earth snacks! You can't eat Earth food!"

"Earth sweets have enough sugar for me to handle, Earth boy!"

"Oh, that's how you ate those waffles before!"

Zim paused. "What? …You…_saw_ that?!"

"Uhh…no? I just… uh…GIR told me you liked waffles a while ago…."

"Ugh! Stupid robot!"

A while ago, I convinced - well - asked GIR to put a spy camera in Zim's house, hoping to find out his evil plan. All he did though, was eat stupid waffles.

I looked over and saw GIR press random buttons by Zim's controls.

'Come on, GIR, press the blue button, press the blue button.'

He did! GIR pressed the blue button, opening my cell. Luckily, he didn't press it again. I got out and snuck over to Zim's controls. Zim was busy looking at the containers fill up with snacks.

So, if you press the button blue button, the cell opens. If you press it again, the cell closes. If you press the orange button, the Robo-parents turn on, and press it again, they turn off. So that's probably the same with the snack button!

I pressed the red button, and looked over the containers with the snacks. Slowly, they stopped filling up with snacks.

"HEY! What's going on?!" Zim asked. He turned around, and saw me out of my cell. "DIB!" he started to chase after me. I ran, and went into the glass elevator. Then I remembered something: I still had the pictures of Zim and his base! I took out my camera to make sure they were still there. They were! I would win after all! But Zim went into the other glass elevator. There were two. Of course. I kept the camera in my hand. I came out from the toilet (not my most pleasant experience) and Zim came out from the trash can. Zim chased after me, and tackled me.

"HEY! Get off, you alien scum!" I shouted. We wrestled a bit and Zim finally pinned me down.

"You may have stopped my snack plan, Dib, but Zim will still have victory!"

"Why do you talk in the third person like that all the time? It's really weird."

"…SILENCE!" Zim grabbed my camera from me and crushed it with his hand. I hate to admit it, but he was stronger than I thought. I wiggled my way free from Zim's grasp and stood up.

"Hey! I liked that camera!" I said.

"VICTORY FOR ZIIIIIM!" he gloated. "Now go home." He pointed to the door.

I left Zim's house. It was right before dinner, so I made good timing. As I walked down the path leading to Zim's up, I saw the garden gnome robots turn and look at me.

"Oh no…."

They fired at me with their lasers.

"AGH!" I ran off of the perimeter of Zim's house.

It wasn't a _total_ loss. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a Hershy's bar and a couple other candy bars I stole from Zim before I ran away. I didn't think a single candy bar would spoil my dinner. I unwrapped the Hershey's bar and ate it.


End file.
